Picking out your colors is the first thing you do

My soon to be year old puppy, Bean, just started barking as I opened the back door to let her in. I turned to look at the edge of the woods where she was attending, and staring back was the most beautiful red fox. For a split second, we all looked at each other and time seemed to standstill. Then eons of canine genetic material switched on and Bean started to charge the woods. She had to work backwards, going in the opposite direction to get off our deck, and so I stared into the startled fox eyes a few seconds more; it was as if she was thinking, "But I live here, and that dog is barely as big as I am, are you sure you want to do this?" Bean stopped at her invisible fence line, left to sniff the scent of the wild.

So you see, I live in the mountains. We have a beautiful Blue Ridge view and lots of serenity, at least when the dogs are inside and not on the hunt. My daughter was born in the mountains of Western Massachusetts, and she wanted a mountain view for her wedding. This was after two months of telling me she was going to have one of those destination weddings in the French West Indies. Very small, less than twenty people, only best friends and immediate family. I said fine, after all, what did I know? I was still in shock, like the fox. Friends kept congratulating me on my daughter's engagement and I was perplexed. Shouldn't they be congratulating her, after all she got her man, right? I had nothing to do with it. But, be prepared for this disconnect and be ready to accept everyone's delight for you, her mother. So I started to accept their salutations gracefully, getting used to the idea that my precious little girl, who had just turned thirty, was going to wed. Eventually the pressures that collide on brides-to-be - from grandparents, future-in-laws, rabbis and priests and friends of friends and the Starbucks barrista - worked their inevitable way around her plans. She and her fiancee decided to be married in their home state, in the university town where they met, my town, right around the corner from the anatomy lab where they first got to know each other over a cadaver.

People in the know, in the wedding biz, told me that having a wedding at home was risky. What if it rains? You will hear that alot - "What IF It Rains??" I've started to reject any and all negative thoughts simply to save my sanity. "If it rains," I'll now say, "we'll buy umbrellas!" See how easy it can be to plan a wedding, simply replace any naysayer with your own pollyannaish saying! Mud? We'll tell people to bring their Wellies!! Anyway, our house was out, since the back yard is sloped at an angle that would make any tent look lop-sided and dancing a dangerous activity. I tried my best to talk them into a "venue" that has it all, such as a fancy vineyard with a gorgeous Napa-like mansion, or a historical spot like a President's home. But if it smacked of "wedding venue" it was not for them. They wanted to be married at the highest, most photographically gorgeous summit around, in an apple orchard! Problem was, the orchard was closed until May. But, my brilliant husband tracked down the owners and got the green light in April; it's good to have a good problem-solving husband around on occasion. And we knew our colors! Picking out your colors is the first thing you do. It's like knowing your baby's sex so you can paint the nursery. She wanted Blue Ridge Mountain colors - Blue/Lilac/Pale Yellow - when the sun is setting.

Next came the photographer. We did our online research, and I was instructed to go all out on this, money was no object. So we picked two, and I sat down to interview them. Funny, how it reminded me of interviewing pediatricians before she was born. Now, I've been reading up on this all the while, you know...."The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book," "Budget Weddings for Dummies." And here is the best piece of advice I got about photographers, check in with how you feel around them. In other words, if you are comfortable with their personality, and their aesthetic, then they will fit right into the day and not stick out and keep trying to pose people for pictures. And we were adamant about this - a journalistic, artsy style won out. A great guy who likes to photograph nature in his spare time, someone who the groom-to-be wanted from the get go. So yippee, first vendor hired; we now have a venue and a vendor, just a thousand small details to go, like a caterer.