The registry

It's gift giving time. This morning I tried to talk my Mother-in-Law into giving her Grand Daughter a standing Kitchen Aid mixer for the bridal shower. This gift is not on The Registry List, but the bride loves to bake. Dessert can never come soon enough in her opinion. Maybe this is because I didn't bake, or for that matter, buy baked goods? Well I did have my standard celebratory cake that we made as a mother daughter duo once, or twice a year - triple layer carrot cake with toasted coconut cream cheese icing. I would also bring this cake to funerals; it is an equal opportunity cake. My daughter's reward for grating carrots (no, we didn't have a Cuisinart) was to apply the icing and finish off the bowl. Icing, now that is her reason for baking. We used to kid that if medical school didn't work out, she could always move to Paris and become a pastry chef. But I was serious.

My Mother-in Law thought this was a splendid idea, because she loves to bake too. They have their history of people pancakes, rugelah (Jewish cookies), Buffalo cake, and Dolly Partons (a very delectable candy). So obviously, her sweet tooth comes from her Father's side of the family. When she was little, a typical outing with her Dad would involve a stop at Palmer's for candy. As we're talking long distance about baking, the call-waiting buzz happens and it's my daughter. At any time, day or night, the bride takes preference over every other call...always. She will call in the car, on her way to or from the hospital, and we always talk, every day. It was a very busy night shift in the ER, and one of her dogs is waiting at home wearing the "cone of shame," and we giggled and gossiped. But then I made the mistake of saying something about how nice it might be for her to have a standing industrial sized mixer, since I was this close to ordering on Amazon. "No," my Bride said, "I really don't have room in this kitchen and no time to bake." And just like that, I found myself back on The Registry talking with Grandma.

For some reason, Grandma didn't want to get her knives, a bar table, or anything else of significance that might cause bodily harm or contribute to drunkenness from the Registry. I told her that during the Nashville flood, they lost everything in the basement, including the vacuum; but that too was not on the Registry. However, I knew that she really wanted a Dyson Animal vacuum since they have two dogs! "Great," she said. And I'm not sure how, but then we decided that I should give her the vacuum and she would give her a check. You have to be careful speaking with octogenarians on the phone, they are much better at phone talk than we are with our emails and "facelifts." Grandma calls Facebook, facelift, for effect. Now the point of the bridal shower is that it's a kitchen theme, and I really wanted to get her the Dutch Oven, that is on the Registry, and give her my recipe for Irish stew, but what the heck. I'm just the Mother-of-the-Bride.

Meanwhile today I bought a tackle box and filled it with all the tools a beautiful young woman might need for moving into her Freshman dorm room at Dartmouth. My friend's daughter is Salutorian today! It's a high school graduation gift tradition in my house that goes right back to the bride, when she graduated from high school thirteen years ago and my best friend gave her this gift - complete with an electric screwdriver, the handiest tool in the world. She loved it and still uses it to this day! I like gifts like this - useful, unusual and absolutely needed. Like a vacuum.

ps If you have a daughter, like mine, who will not do the typical Registry routine of walking through shops and gunning down everything in sight, who in fact, did not even want to do a Registry, Amazon.com allows the bride and groom to choose gifts carefully from the comfort of their home. Anything that is not carried by Amazon, can also be ordered directly from the same list. There is also something called Honeyfund.com, where guests who might feel uncomfortable giving checks like Grandma, can contribute towards a honeymoon or any other worthwhile cause. A good friend of mine, whose son is getting married this summer, noticed something interesting about The Registry in general. After looking over a few more, she said you can tell a lot about the couple from their Registry. And she's right.