Blond Ambition

"This is a good time to stand back from your life a little and take stock of where you have been and where you intend to go in the future. And remember: no matter what some people might say ambition is not a dirty word." That is my horoscope from the New York Post. I've never looked online for my horoscope before, it's usually something I'd glance at while reading a magazine or a newspaper. Our family has fun translating horoscopes from the French while on vacation. Today there were many exact replicas of something like, "...it's a good day to visit an art museum." Of course, any day is a good day to visit a museum. But I like the Post's bold move to tell me it's OK to be ambitious. When I had to think about what attracted me to my husband, which happens alot lately, his ambition and drive were certainly right up there. That and his smell of clean, sun-dried laundry.

I'm taking stock of our Wedding Weekend of Tastings Galore. The Couple arrived very late Friday and we stayed up later still. My daughter looked radiant, and her groom I discovered, was going to be on my side. Oh Happy Day! I knew I liked this guy. How did it happen that at one point, while sitting out on the deck surrounded by yummy breakfast treats, I envisioned myself in a graphic novel (aka comic book)? The mountains loomed brilliantly in the distance, the dogs grazed happily for crumbs, cinnamon buns and biscuits melted sweetly in the sun. We were talking about photography, and the bride wasn't there at the moment. I inquired what his parents might want in the form of family pictures. He nodded his agreement, of course they would want some shots of the whole clan - some were traveling from Hawaii! Ah yes, this was a point on which we could agree. This incredibly fantastic journalistic photographer, just may have to ask for some group shots...

The sculptor Calder I believe once asked if you were only allowed to take one thing out of a burning house, would it be the cat, or artwork? I would take the pictures, and the dog. But really our dogs would probably be the first ones out on their own eight paws! Pictures are the landscape of my life, my heirlooms. They document the family that I lost, and the foster family I was given. I only have three pictures of my biological father, who died when I was seven months old. I have a picture of my mother lying on a couch, her broken legs straight out under her, but looking beautiful nonetheless. I am a toddler, with blond curls standing on her lap. I am a toddler in the only picture I have of me with all my siblings together, at my father's funeral. My older sister is towering above us, foreshadowing her place as the keeper of memories.

And this is when the discussion begins, when to take the group shots? Should we hold a cocktail hour, or not; to serve a signature cocktail, or not? What the Couple was trying to avoid on their day, was the obvious separation of the wheat from the chaff, the bridal "party" and significant others from the less significant. They had been to a number of weddings where that is the case - one person is significant, and the other sits alone. I understood. But I had to be ambitious, and indeed I let it be known that at some point on this day, my family, including the step-family we acquired when my mother remarried, should have a portrait done. I stood my ground. In trying to accommodate my bride, I was doing my best to make her wishes come true, and we were having a wonderful time: Anita Gupta's margarita cupcakes for breakfast; strolling through the rooftop terrace on the downtown mall; shrimp and grits at L'etoile with a Big Chill couple, who happened to be visiting that weekend. One little family portrait, was it too much to ask? We all decided to make the "cocktail hour" before the ceremony, rather than immediately after. It would be more ice tea and cider, and less signature cocktail.

And finally, Jack Looney settled the matter. He knew just how to approach the dilemma, what to say to get the right people together, and he has an assistant photographer, so there will be two shooters on the Big Day. All 's well that ends well, when you choose the right photographer.

As overheard on NPR - which is the real wedding news story?
1) Lawyers are now a part of more wedding parties because more couples are getting pre-nups,
2) Since it sometimes takes 20-30 minutes getting in and out of wedding gowns, they are now making fancy crystal encrusted diapers for brides.
3) There is a new service called "Lemon Events." Instead of waiting for something bad to happen at your wedding, you can hire these people to arrange it! One groom sat on a whoopee cushion and after a pause, the bride sang "You are the Wind Beneath my Wings."